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The current year signifies a full decade since the term “ghosting” entered the mainstream. At the time, the notion that someone could abruptly cease all contact with a partner without a word seemed like the pinnacle of disrespect. How naive we were. In the decade since, seeking a mate has only become more bewildering – an commonly fruitless exercise in embarrassment that is increasingly shaped by online jargon.

Gen Z, a demographic who grew up during a social isolation epidemic, a masculinity reckoning, and a widespread assault on the rights of females and the queer community, faces a infinitely more complex landscape than their millennial predecessors could ever imagine. And so their dating vocabulary has grown more extensive and more bizarre, with terms like “Shrekking” and “vine swinging” pushing the limits of your sanity.

What follows is a detailed breakdown to the terms Zoomers is using to navigate romance, sex and the search of both. To channel one of the year’s most enduring memes, by the conclusion of this guide you’ll long to get back to simpler times – because where that is, it doesn’t have “ideological catfishing”.

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A

Authenticity – In the view of gen Z, dating’s ultimate goal is presenting as your real, raw self. Good luck with that!

B

Avian theory – A TikTok trend loosely based on a methodology developed by relationship scientists, in which you bring up something insignificant – for example, “I saw a bird today” – and observe whether your partner’s reply is engaged or dismissive. If they aren't interested to hear more about the bird, you two are headed for splitsville.

Mysterious girlfriend – Gen Z’s answer to the “quirky fantasy girl” archetype of the early 2000s – but rather than having short fringe, liking The Smiths and avoiding commitment, the black cat girlfriend prioritizes herself while oozing mystery and self-sufficiency. (She may yet have baby bangs.)

C

Support test – This signifies seeking out someone who supports you without being asked. If you entered a room, they would get a seat for you to take a load off.

Choremance – A date where two people bond while handling tasks, such as pet care or food shopping. In other words, how cash-strapped people in their 20s do affordable romance in a post-cheap-date world.

Emotional spiral – Melting down when you feel swamped by life. You can lose it over a infatuation or breakup, dumping all of your unreciprocated emotions.

D

DINK – Two incomes, no children. Once a symbol of 1980s yuppie excess, it refers to partners who opt out of parenthood to prioritize their own happiness. Or because they cannot afford to become parents.

The Letter E

Vulnerable signaling – The antithesis of being guarded: practicing dialogue, transparency and openness.

The Letter F

Indicators

• Warning signs – Behavioral quirks indicating a potential partner is trouble. For instance calling their exes crazy, bad gratuity habits, a love of Woody Allen films, a new DJ career …
• Positive signs – These traits confirm your choice to date a mate. Examples include following up to make sure you got home safe after a date, low phone use, having a bed frame …
• Odd but harmless traits – These typically describe specific, largely inoffensive idiosyncrasies. Examples include being an keen birdwatcher, still keeping a pen in their wallet, paying rent in cash …

Niche bonding – When you connect with someone who’s just as enthusiastic about films about the WWII or physical media hoarding or collaging or whatever it may be, as you. Or, on the flip side, finding someone who hates the same stuff or people that you do (few things fosters closeness faster than sharing a nemesis).

The Letter G

Geese – A musical group your gen Z boyfriend likes.

Ghostlighting – Someone who resurfaces into your life after a length of disappearing.

Loyal boyfriend – Someone who is friendly, accommodating and loyal. The uncommon partner who is adored by all of his partner’s friends, and a mysterious partner's counterpart.

Prolonged session enthusiasts – A mostly online subculture of men so fixated with self-pleasure that they attempt marathon sessions, deliberately delaying orgasm so they can continue as long as possible.

The Letter H

Gloomy heterosexuality – A phenomenon describing many women's increasing cynicism toward heterosexual relationships. It will come as no surprise to anyone who read the previous entry.

Traditional ideal woman – An stereotype touted by manosphere figures: a woman who is sexually desirable, ever-comforting and happily domestic, who apparently has no ambitions of her own aside from pleasing her man partner. Maybe now you’re beginning to grasp the whole “heterofatalism” thing better?

The Letter I

Icks – Arbitrary and usually everyday turnoffs that instantly shut down any feelings of desire.

“Actions speak louder" – Something to keep in mind after you watch someone else get an extremely sweet gesture.

The Letter J

Careers – These have not been this important in the romance landscape since the Wall Street era. For some women, a “man in finance” is the ultimate catch: a fleece-vest-wearing, Republican-coded guy who will be a provider (there’s a popular TikTok song on the topic). Meanwhile the left-leaning crowd opt for partners in sectors they see as being staffed by the more nurturing among us: healthcare workers, educators or therapists.

The Letter K

Kissing – This year, scientists learned that the kiss has been around for 16 million years. But the days of kissing may be numbered since some gen Z want fewer sex scenes in movies, as they are having reduced intimacy themselves and do not find onscreen intimacy believable.

Kittenfishing – Mild deception. Or, not exactly being dishonest about who you are, but maybe using outdated (better) photos of yourself on a online profile, or making your career sound more important than it is. Also known as {